Week 5 of 16 · Test Cycle 1. This lesson is part of The Black Belt Mindset, the character curriculum every new Mile High Karate student begins with, by Grand Master Stephen Oliver and Grand Master Jeff Smith. Every week stands alone, so a student can start with any lesson.

Black Belt Success Skill Total Self-Confidence
Black Belt Quality Positive Self-Expectancy
Principle of the Black Belt Courage
Key Word EXPECT
Live the Creed “I intend to develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growth or physical health.”

“To be a great champion you must believe you are the best. If you’re not, pretend you are.”

Muhammad Ali

The Big Idea

When you work hard and expect to succeed, you give yourself the best chance to win.

On this page: Read the chapter · Workbook lesson · For instructors: Mat Chat

Read: Expect Good Things

In August 1978, I stood in a room in Washington, D.C., ready to test for my 1st Degree Black Belt.

Across from me sat Grand Master Jhoon Rhee. Next to him sat a board of senior Black Belts. One of them was a young world champion named Jeff Smith. Years later, he would become my partner in teaching. That day, he was one of the people judging me.

This was not a show. It was a real test. It was long and hard, and every part of it was scored. Nobody in that room wondered whether the belt would be earned. It would be earned, or it would not be given.

Was I nervous? Of course I was. Anybody would be.

But here is what I remember most. I expected to pass.

I did not expect to pass because I was lucky. I expected to pass because I had been training since 1969. I had practiced my forms more times than I could count. I had taught my own students. I had put in the work, and the work had earned me the right to expect a good result.

I passed. I earned one of the highest scores ever given on that exam. I still remember the score today, decades later.

That kind of expecting has a name. It is called self-expectancy. And when you have it, you walk into hard things with confidence.

What Is Self-Expectancy?

To expect something means you believe it will happen. You expect the sun to come up tomorrow. You expect dinner tonight.

Self-expectancy is what you expect from yourself. It is what you believe you can do.

Some people expect to fail. Before they even try, they say, “I can’t do this.” “I’m going to mess up.” “This never works for me.” Guess what usually happens? They do not try very hard, and they get the result they expected.

Other people expect to succeed. They say, “I can learn this.” “I will get better.” “I’ve practiced, and I’m ready.” They try harder. They keep going longer. And they usually do better.

Your expectations act like a map. Your brain and body tend to follow the map you give them.

Expecting Is Not Wishing

Be careful here. Positive self-expectancy is not wishing.

Wishing sounds like this: “I hope I pass my test.” Then you sit on the couch and do nothing.

Expecting sounds like this: “I have practiced every day. I know my form. I expect to pass.”

Do you see the difference? Wishing skips the work. Expecting is earned by the work.

Imagine a boy named Leo. He has a spelling test on Friday. He studies his words every night. On Friday morning, he walks into class and thinks, “I’m ready. I expect to do well.” That is self-expectancy.

Now imagine his mom. She has a big meeting at work. She prepares her notes the night before. She practices what she will say. She walks into the room expecting it to go well. Same idea. Different age.

Positive self-expectancy comes from preparation. The more you prepare, the more you have the right to expect.

Confidence Is Built, Not Born

People sometimes think confident people were just born that way. They were not. Confidence is built the same way a strong kick is built. One rep at a time.

Every time you prepare and then do well, you add a brick. Every time you try something hard and live through it, you add a brick. After a while, you have a wall. Then someone says, “You can’t do that,” and it bounces right off.

That is what a Black Belt has. Not a loud voice. Not bragging. Just a quiet, steady feeling that says, “I have done hard things before. I can do this one too.”

Black Belt Success Skill

Total Self-Confidence. A Black Belt believes, “I can do anything I am willing to work for.” That is the whole skill. It does not mean you can do everything today. It means that when you are willing to put in the work, you can get there. A confident person is not shaken when someone else is negative. They do not settle for “good enough,” either. They keep climbing.

Confidence and self-expectancy go together. You expect good things because you prepared. Then you do well, and your confidence grows. Then you expect even more.

Start today: Pick one thing you have been avoiding because it feels hard. Do the first small step before you go to bed tonight.

Live the Creed

Student Creed: “I intend to develop myself in a positive manner and avoid anything that would reduce my mental growth or physical health.”

Principle of the Black Belt: Courage

Our Student Creed asks you to develop yourself in a positive manner. Expecting good things is one of the most positive things you can do. But expecting is not wishing. The Principle of the Black Belt this week is Courage: stepping up to the target, the board or the test, saying “I expect to do this,” and then doing the work to make it true.

What If Things Go Wrong?

Sometimes you expect to do well, and you do not. You miss a step in your form. You lose a match at the tournament. You forget a word on the test.

That does not mean expecting good things was wrong. It means you have more to learn.

A person with positive self-expectancy does not say, “See? I knew I would fail.” They say, “That did not go the way I wanted. What can I learn? I expect to do better next time.”

Then they go back to work.

Expect Good Things from Others

Self-expectancy has a cousin. It is what you expect from the people around you.

At our school, instructors expect every student to reach Black Belt. Not just the fast ones. Not just the strong ones. Every one. Over the years, Mile High Karate has promoted more than 1,000 Black Belts, from age 5 to age 76.

When someone believes in you, it is easier to believe in yourself. So pass it on. Tell your training partner, “You’ve got this.” You may be the reason someone else expects to win.

Grand Master Jhoon Rhee liked to say, “Everything happens for the best.” He did not mean bad things are good. He meant that you can learn something from almost anything, if you look for it.

In Their Own Words

“Before Karate, I would never have had the confidence to do this. Now I do and I feel that I will be a good member of any club I join.”

Jim Nieman, Black Belt essay

When, Not If

Here is a small word change that makes a big difference.

Some students say, “If I get my Black Belt…” Black Belts say, “When I get my Black Belt…”

“If” is a wish. “When” is an expectation. When you say “when,” your brain starts planning. It starts asking, “What do I need to do next?”

Parents, this one is for you, too. Never say “if” about your child’s Black Belt. Say “when.”

From Grand Master Smith

When Grand Master Jeff Smith moved to Washington, D.C., to train and compete, he made himself a promise. In his words, “I made myself a promise when I came to D.C.: To compete until I was 35 and then retire.”

Think about what that promise says. It does not say, “I hope I do okay.” It says, “I am going to compete at the highest level, for years, and I will decide when I am done.”

That is positive self-expectancy. He expected a long career, and he worked to earn it. He trained six hours a day, in three workouts, for almost 20 years.

And it paid off. In 1974, he won the PKA World Light Heavyweight title. He held it until 1980. He defended that title seven times. His record was 32 wins and only 1 loss.

Grand Master Smith did not expect success because he was special. He expected it because he did the work every single day. That is the kind of expecting that wins.

Black Belt and Beyond

This week, put your Black Belt where you can see it.

Your instructor will take your picture wearing or holding a Black Belt, standing with some of our school’s Black Belts. On a strip of tape on that belt, we will write your target date: the day you expect to earn your 1st Degree Black Belt. For most students, that is about four years (48 months) from the day they started.

Take the photo home. Tape it where you will see it every single day: your mirror, your bedroom door, the fridge. Every morning, look at it and say, “When I earn my Black Belt…” not “if.”

Then look past it. Your Black Belt is not the finish line. Beyond it is your 2nd Degree, the Leadership Team, and maybe one day teaching students of your own.

In your workbook, write your target date and the place you hung your photo.

How to Build Positive Self-Expectancy

1. Prepare. This is the big one. You cannot expect to know your form if you never practice it. Practice gives you the right to expect success.

2. Remember your past wins. Think of a time you did something hard. Maybe you learned to ride a bike. Maybe you finished a tough project. You did it before. You can do it again.

3. Watch your words. Change “I can’t” to “I can’t yet.” Change “I’m bad at this” to “I’m getting better at this.”

4. See it before you do it. Before you test, picture yourself doing every move well. See it clearly. Then go do what you saw.

5. Expect to learn, not just to win. If you expect to learn every time, you will never walk away empty-handed.

In Class This Week

Key Word: EXPECT

Instructor: “What do Black Belts expect?”

Students: “To win, because we prepare!”

Before a target kick or a board break, you will look at the target and say, “I expect to hit it.” Then you will set your stance and do it.

How a Black Belt Does It

  1. Prepares tonight. Within the next 24 hours, practice one thing for your next belt test for 10 minutes. That is how you earn the right to expect.
  2. Says “when,” not “if.” “When I get my Black Belt.” “When I pass my test.”
  3. Says “yet.” “I can’t do a jump kick yet.” That one little word keeps the door open.
  4. Learns from a bad day. A miss is a lesson, not a label.
  5. Expects good things from others, too. A Black Belt believes in classmates and helps them believe in themselves.

This week’s challenge

This week’s challenge: Every morning, say out loud, “I prepared, and I expect a good day,” then do one thing to prepare for something that matters to you.

Say It Out Loud

I am prepared, so I expect to do well.

I am confident because I do the work.

I am going to earn my Black Belt, and I say “when,” not “if.”

I am learning and getting better every day.

Words to Know

  • Expect: to believe something will happen.
  • Self-expectancy: what you believe you can do.
  • Confidence: a steady feeling that you can do something.
  • Preparation: the work you do to get ready.
  • Target date: the day you plan to reach your goal.
  • Board: a group of people who judge a test or make decisions together.

For Parents and Adult Students

Adults carry old expectations, often from childhood. “I was never athletic.” “I’m not a math person.” Notice those lines when they show up in your head. Ask, “Is that true, or is it just old?”

Parents, children often rise or fall to what the adults around them expect. Expect effort, and say so: “I know you’ll practice tonight.” Before a test, help your child prepare, then say, “You’ve done the work. I expect you to do well.” After a tough day, skip “I told you so.” Ask, “What did you learn? What will you do next time?”

Support this week’s goal step: Help your child hang the Black Belt photo where the whole family sees it. Say “when you get your Black Belt,” never “if.”

Remember

  • Self-expectancy is what you believe you can do.
  • Expecting is not wishing. Expecting is earned by the work.
  • Confidence is built one rep at a time.
  • Black Belts say “when,” not “if.”
  • When things go wrong, learn and expect to do better next time.

Workbook Lesson: Week 5

Print the full workbook below, or answer these on paper. Young students can have a parent help them read and write.

1. Words to Know

  • Expect: to believe something will happen
  • Self-expectancy: what you believe you can do
  • Confidence: a steady feeling that you can do something
  • Preparation: the work you do to get ready
  • Target date: the day you plan to reach your goal

2. Fill in the Blank

  1. Expecting is not . Expecting is earned by the work.
  2. Instead of “I can’t,” say “I can’t .”
  3. Black Belts say “ ,” not “if.”
Answers

1) wishing; 2) yet; 3) when

3. Think About It

  1. What is the difference between wishing and expecting?
  2. Write about a time you did something hard. How can that help you feel confident next time?
  3. Grand Master Smith promised himself he would compete until he was 35. What promise could you make to yourself about your Black Belt?
  4. Teens & Adults: What old “I can’t” or “I’m not a ___ person” belief do you carry? Rewrite it using the word “yet.”

4. Black Belt and Beyond: this week’s goal step

My Black Belt Photo

Module 5: Black Belt Photo and Target Date

This week your instructor will take your picture wearing or holding a Black Belt, standing with our school’s Black Belts. Your target date goes right on the belt.

Paste your Black Belt photo here (or draw yourself wearing your Black Belt). (Space for this is in the printed workbook.)

  • My target date for 1st Degree Black Belt: ________________
  • My goal beyond that (2nd Degree, Leadership Team, teaching): ________________
  • Where I hung my photo at home: ________________

Every morning, look at your photo and say: “WHEN I earn my Black Belt…” Never “if.”

Signatures: Student, Parent

5. Activity: Change It with “Yet”

Write three things you cannot do yet. Then rewrite each one the Black Belt way. Example: “I can’t do a jump kick” becomes “I can’t do a jump kick YET, but I will by practicing every day.”

6. Home Challenge: Prepare, Then Expect

Every morning this week, say out loud, “I prepared, and I expect a good day.” Then do one thing to prepare for something that matters: practice your form, study for a test, or lay out your uniform. Have a parent check each day to earn your attitude stripe.

Do it 7 days in a row. Track each day (Today I prepared by…). When every day is done and a parent signs off, turn it in for an attitude stripe.

7. My Self-Talk

Write a sentence that shows what you expect from yourself. Start with: “I am prepared, so I expect…”

8. Live the Creed

Say the Student Creed out loud every day this week. Then write about one time this week you showed Courage.

For Instructors: Week 5 Mat Chat

A 3–4 minute line-up lesson built on the Hook, Teach, Story, Ask, Commit formula, with a discussion guide for every age on the mat.

Objective: By the end of this Mat Chat, students will be able to explain the difference between wishing and expecting, turn one “I can’t” into “I can’t yet,” and say “when,” not “if,” about their Black Belt.

Prepare:

  • A Black Belt to hold up during the Hook.
  • Kicking targets or a practice board set out for the Expect It drill.
  • Recruit a Black Belt or Leadership Team helper to model a winner’s stance and say “I expect to hit it.”
  • Camera and tape strips ready if this is photo day for Black Belt photos and target dates.

The Mat Chat (3–4 minutes)

Hook (0:00–0:30). [Hold up a Black Belt.] Students, eyes on me. Raise your hand if you want one of these someday. (Hands up!) Great. Now here’s a tricky question. Do you HOPE you’ll get it, or do you EXPECT you’ll get it? Those sound the same. They are not. One is a wish. The other is a plan with work behind it. Our key word today is EXPECT. Say it with me, loud and proud! (EXPECT!)

Teach (0:30–1:30). Our Black Belt Success Skill is Total Self-Confidence. A Black Belt believes, “I can do anything I am willing to work for.” Not everything today. Anything you are willing to work for. To expect something means you believe it will happen. What you expect from yourself is called self-expectancy. But listen closely: expecting is not wishing. Wishing is sitting on the couch saying, “I hope I pass my test.” Expecting is practicing every night, then walking in and saying, “I’m ready.” Wishing skips the work. Expecting is earned by the work. And confidence? Nobody is born with it. You build it one brick at a time, just like your kicks. Every time you prepare and do well, you add a brick. Soon, when someone says, “You can’t,” it bounces right off.

Story (1:30–2:30). In August 1978, Grand Master Oliver stood in a room in Washington, D.C., to test for his 1st Degree Black Belt. Grand Master Jhoon Rhee sat across from him, next to a board of senior Black Belts. One of them was a young world champion named Jeff Smith. Yes, our Grand Master Smith! It was a real test. Long, hard, and every part was scored. Was Grand Master Oliver nervous? Of course. But he expected to pass. Not because he was lucky. Because he had trained since 1969. He had practiced his forms more times than he could count. He had earned the right to expect a good result. And he passed with one of the highest scores ever given on that exam. Grand Master Smith lived it, too. He promised himself he would compete until he was 35. Then he trained six hours a day to earn it.

Ask (2:30–3:15). So let me ask you. If you never practice your form, can you expect to know it at your test? (No!) Why not? (Because you didn’t do the work!) What is the magic word that turns “I can’t” into a goal? (Yet!) Do Black Belts say “if” or “when”? (When!) Turn to a partner. Tell them one thing you can’t do yet, and one thing you will do to prepare for it. Go! [Give 20 seconds, then clap twice to bring them back.]

Commit (3:15–3:45). Here is your 7-day challenge. Every morning, say out loud, “I prepared, and I expect a good day.” Then do one thing to prepare for something that matters: practice your form, study for a test, or lay out your uniform. Have a parent check it each day. Hang your Black Belt photo with your target date where you see it every morning. Say “when,” not “if.” Black Belt and beyond! What do Black Belts expect? (To win, because we prepare!)

Call and response

Instructor: What do Black Belts expect?
Students: To win, because we prepare!
Key Word: EXPECT

Discussion Guide

Aim: Help students see that expecting success is earned by preparation, not luck, and get each student to name one specific thing they will prepare for and say “when” about their Black Belt.

Little Dragons (ages 4–6)

  1. Show me your winner’s stance! Do you stand tall or small when you expect to hit the target?
  2. If you practice your kicks at home, will they get better? Show me with a thumbs up or thumbs down.

Kids (ages 7–12)

  1. What is the difference between wishing you pass a test and expecting to pass it?
  2. Tell us about something hard you did before, like riding a bike. How can that help you feel confident at your next belt test?
  3. What is one thing you can’t do yet in karate, and what will you practice to get it?

Teens and adults

  1. Where in your life are you wishing instead of expecting, at school, work or home? What preparation is missing?
  2. What old “I can’t” or “I’m not a ___ person” belief do you carry? How would you rewrite it using the word “yet”?
  3. Grand Master Smith promised himself he would compete until he was 35. What promise could you make to yourself about your Black Belt, and how will you earn it?

Listen for:

  • Expecting is earned by preparation; wishing skips the work.
  • Confidence is built one rep or brick at a time, not something you are born with.
  • “Yet” keeps the door open, and Black Belts say “when,” not “if.”
  • A miss is a lesson: learn from it and expect to do better next time.

Follow-up questions:

  • What exactly will you do tomorrow morning to prepare for that?
  • How will you feel walking into your test if you practiced every day this week?
  • What could you tell yourself if you expect to do well and it doesn’t go your way?

Coaching cautions

  • Don’t let “expect to win” turn into bragging or putting down classmates; steer it back to preparation and quiet confidence.
  • A student who recently failed a stripe or test may feel singled out by “expect to pass”; frame misses as lessons and never use a real student’s result as an example.
  • Students with a later Black Belt target date may compare themselves to others; stress that everyone’s date is their own and “when” applies to every student.

If the room is quiet: Go first: say one “I can’t” of your own out loud and have the whole class shout “YET!” back, then invite three volunteers to do the same.

Into the Mat Drill

  • Mat drill: Expect It: before a target kick, board break or form, each student looks at the target and says ‘I expect to hit it,’ sets a winner’s stance, then performs. Afterward, ask the class how it felt different.
  • Leader role: A Black Belt or Leadership Team helper models the winner’s stance and “I expect to hit it” before the drill, then holds a target for the youngest students.
  • Open next class: Open next class by asking, “Hands up if you said ‘I prepared, and I expect a good day’ every morning,” and have two students share what they did to prepare.

Black Belt and Beyond: Module 5: Black Belts: Photos and Target Date

Checkpoint: Invite qualified (“A”) families to preview Leadership class

  • Photo day: each student is photographed wearing or holding a Black Belt, standing with the school’s Black Belts.
  • Write each student’s target 1st Degree date on a strip of tape on the belt in the photo; students fill in the workbook page.
  • Send the photo home with a note asking parents to post it where the student will see it every day.

Adult and parent tip: Parents: say “when you get your Black Belt,” never “if.” Adults: notice whether you walk into class expecting to improve, or just hoping to survive.

Teaching tip: Have every student say one ‘I can’t’ out loud, then have the whole class shout ‘YET!’ back at them. It is fun, it is loud, and it sticks.

Download the complete books (PDF): The Black Belt Mindset · The Workbook · The Instructor’s Manual

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