Week 7: Do It Without Being Told

Week 7 of 16 · Test Cycle 1. This lesson is part of The Black Belt Mindset, the character curriculum every new Mile High Karate student begins with, by Grand Master Stephen Oliver and Grand Master Jeff Smith. Every week stands alone, so a student can start with any lesson.

“I hated every minute of it. But I said to myself, ‘Suffer now, and live the rest of your life as a champion.’”

Muhammad Ali

On this page: Read the chapter · Workbook lesson · For instructors: Mat Chat

Read: Do It Without Being Told

When I was a young Black Belt, I thought discipline meant a tough teacher yelling at you to do more push-ups. I had a lot of tough teachers. Back in Tulsa, in the early 1970s, training was hard. Nobody handed out trophies just for showing up.

But the best lesson I ever got about discipline did not come from yelling. It came from Grand Master Jhoon Rhee. He said, “The word discipline can be broken down into two basic ingredients: Attention and respect.”

That is it. Two ingredients. You pay attention to what needs to be done. And you respect it enough to do it, whether anyone is watching or not.

Notice what is missing from that list. Punishment is not on it. Fear is not on it. Discipline is not something done to you. It is something you do for yourself.

The Self-Discipline Sheet

At Mile High Karate, we have a simple tool. We call it the Self-Discipline Sheet. You write down something you did that you did not have to be told to do.

That is the whole rule. Not told. Not reminded. Not asked twice.

Maybe you made your bed before Mom said a word. Maybe you put your shoes away. Maybe you started your homework the minute you got home. Maybe you helped carry in the groceries without being asked.

Those sound like small things. They are not small. Each one is a rep. Just like a front kick gets better every time you throw it, self-discipline gets stronger every time you use it.

Here is what I have seen over more than fifty years. The student who learns to do little things without being told grows into the adult who does big things without being told. That person finishes school. That person keeps a job. That person keeps promises.

Picture a student named Sam. Sam’s dad has to call him three times to come to dinner. Sam’s teacher has to remind him twice to turn in his homework. Sam is not a bad kid. But somebody else is doing Sam’s remembering for him.

Now picture Sam six months later. He has been keeping his Self-Discipline Sheet. He sets the table before his dad calls. He turns in his homework on time. Nobody is chasing him anymore. Sam is running his own life. That feels good.

Discipline Is a Choice You Make Again and Again

Here is a secret. Self-discipline is not something you have or don’t have. It is something you do. And you have to choose it again, every day.

For a kid, that might look like this. Your favorite game is on. Your homework is not done. Nobody is home to tell you what to do. What do you choose?

For an adult, it might look like this. The alarm goes off at 6:00. It is cold outside. You promised yourself you would walk before work. Nobody will know if you stay in bed. What do you choose?

Same choice. Different ages. A Black Belt picks the thing that helps them reach their goal, even when the easy thing is calling their name.

You will not win every time. Nobody does. But every time you choose the harder right thing, the next time gets a little easier.

No Excuses

There is a sneaky thing that gets in the way of discipline. It is called an excuse.

An excuse is a reason you give for why something is not your fault. “I didn’t practice because my brother was being loud.” “I was late because nobody woke me up.” “I forgot my uniform because Mom didn’t put it in the car.”

Here is the problem with excuses. Every excuse hands your power to somebody else. If it is your brother’s fault, then only your brother can fix it. If it is your fault, you can fix it. Right now.

Good Discipline Is Not Punishment

Some people hear “discipline” and think “trouble.” They think of being sent to your room or losing your phone.

At Mile High Karate, we look at it the other way around. When you show self-discipline, we notice and we reward it. You earn Attitude Stripes for doing the right thing. Your classmates cheer for you. Your instructor calls out your name in class.

Why? Because we want you to connect discipline with feeling proud, not feeling punished. When doing the right thing feels good, you will do it more.

Paying Attention and Showing Respect

Remember Grand Master Rhee’s first ingredient: attention.

A lot of people don’t do the right thing because they don’t notice the right thing. The dishes are in the sink, and they walk right past them. The trash is full, and they don’t see it.

A Black Belt keeps their eyes open. When you walk into a room, look around. What needs doing? Is there a shoe in the doorway? Is a little brother struggling to tie his belt? Is a coworker carrying too much?

The second ingredient is respect. Respect for your parents means you don’t make them ask you ten times. Respect for your instructor means you give your best effort, even on the hundredth kick. Respect for yourself means you keep the promises you make to you.

That last one is big. Most people keep promises to other people better than they keep promises to themselves. A Black Belt keeps both. If you tell yourself, “I will practice my form for five minutes tonight,” then you practice your form for five minutes tonight. Not tomorrow. Tonight.

Discipline Makes You Free

Here is something that surprises a lot of people. Discipline does not take away your freedom. It gives you more.

The student who finishes homework right after school has the whole evening free. The student who puts it off spends the whole evening with it hanging over their head. Same homework. Very different night.

The student who practices at home moves up in rank. The student who doesn’t gets stuck, and gets frustrated.

Discipline is how you get what you want most, instead of what you want right now. And what you want most is your Black Belt.

How a Black Belt Does It

1. Do one thing tonight without being told. Before bed tonight, find one job nobody asked you to do and do it. Write it down.
2. Do it now. When you see something that needs doing, do it right away. Waiting makes it harder.
3. Do the hard thing first. Homework before games. The workout before the TV. Then enjoy the fun part with nothing hanging over you.
4. Drop the excuse. Say, “That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do next.”
5. Keep your promises to yourself. Make small promises, and keep every one.

Remember

• Discipline has two ingredients: attention and respect.
• Self-discipline means doing the right thing without being told.
• No excuses. When you own the problem, you own the fix.
• A champion trained six hours a day because he chose to.
• Do the hard thing first, and keep your promises to yourself.

Workbook Lesson: Week 7

Print the full workbook below, or answer these on paper. Young students can have a parent help them read and write.

1. Words to Know

• Discipline: paying attention to what needs to be done and doing it
• Self-discipline: making yourself do the right thing, even when nobody is watching
• Excuse: a reason you give for why something is not your fault
• Responsibility: owning your choices and your results
• Promise: saying you will do something, and meaning it

2. Fill in the Blank

1. Grand Master Rhee said discipline has two ingredients: attention and .
2. On the Self-Discipline Sheet, you write something you did without being .
3. Grand Master Smith trained hours a day for almost 20 years.

3. Think About It

1. What is one thing you did this week without being told? How did it feel?
2. Think of an excuse you have used. How could you say it the No Excuses way: “That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do next”?
3. What is one ‘hard thing’ you should do first before you have fun?
4. Teens & Adults: What is a promise you made to yourself that you have not kept? What small step will you take this week?

5. Activity: Look Around!

Walk through your home and look for things that need doing. Make a list of five things you could do without being told. Circle the one you will do first.

7. My Self-Talk

Write your own self-talk sentence about self-discipline. Start with “I am” and make it positive. Example: I am a person who does the right thing without being told.

8. Live the Creed

Say the Student Creed out loud every day this week. Then write about one time this week you showed Perseverance.

For Instructors: Week 7 Mat Chat

A 3–4 minute line-up lesson built on the Hook, Teach, Story, Ask, Commit formula, with a discussion guide for every age on the mat.

Objective: By the end of this Mat Chat, students will be able to name Grand Master Rhee’s two ingredients of discipline (attention and respect) and replace an excuse with “That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do next.”

Prepare:

• A blank Self-Discipline Sheet to hold up during the Hook.
• Two or three completed Self-Discipline Sheets (or parent notes) to read and cheer, if available.
• Recruit a Black Belt or Leadership Team helper to lead the Mental Rehearsal form after the chat.

The Mat Chat (3–4 minutes)

Hook (0:00–0:30). [Hold up a blank Self-Discipline Sheet.] Students, eyes on me. What does the word discipline make you think of? A teacher yelling? (Yes!) Getting sent to your room? (Yes!) Here’s the surprise. At Mile High Karate, discipline is not something done TO you. It’s something you do FOR yourself. And it starts with doing things without being told. Our key word is DISCIPLINE. Say it! (DISCIPLINE!)

Teach (0:30–1:30). Grand Master Jhoon Rhee said discipline has two ingredients: attention and respect. Attention means you notice what needs doing. Respect means you care enough to do it, whether anybody is watching or not. Our Black Belt Success Skill is No Excuses. An excuse is a reason you give for why something isn’t your fault. “I didn’t practice because my brother was loud.” “I forgot my belt because nobody reminded me.” Here’s the problem: every excuse hands your power to someone else. A Black Belt takes one hundred percent responsibility and says, “That’s on me. Here’s what I’ll do next.” When you own the problem, you own the fix. “I forgot my belt. Tonight I’ll pack my bag before bed.” That’s discipline.

Story (1:30–2:30). When Grand Master Oliver was a young Black Belt, he thought discipline meant a tough teacher yelling about push-ups. Then Grand Master Rhee taught him those two ingredients, and he never forgot them. Now think about Grand Master Jeff Smith. He was the PKA World Light Heavyweight Champion from 1974 to 1980. How? He trained six hours a day, in three workouts, for almost twenty years. Nobody stood over him with a stopwatch. He was the champion. He could have taken it easy. He chose not to. And in his school, kids earned a self-discipline sticker for helping at home without being asked. A champion training six hours a day and a seven-year-old putting away his shoes come from the same place: deciding to do what needs doing, without being told.

Ask (2:30–3:15). So let me ask you. What are Grand Master Rhee’s two ingredients? (Attention and respect!) Which one means noticing what needs doing? (Attention!) What does a Black Belt say instead of an excuse? (That’s on me!) Hands up: who did something at home without being told this week? [Call on two or three and lead a quick cheer for each.] Now turn to a partner and name one hard thing you’ll do first today, before you play. Homework before games! Go!

Commit (3:15–3:45). Here is your 7-day challenge. Keep your Self-Discipline Sheet. Every day, do at least one helpful thing at home, school or work without being told. Write it down and have a parent initial it. Then plan your “Journey to Black Belt” poster, with your target date in big letters. When the easy thing calls your name, look at that poster and choose your Black Belt, and beyond. What does discipline choose? (What I want most!)

Discussion Guide

Aim: Help students see discipline as a choice they make for themselves, not a punishment, and leave with one specific thing they will do without being told before the next class.

Little Dragons (ages 4–6)

1. Can you put your shoes away before Mom or Dad asks? Show me a thumbs up if you’ll try tonight!
2. Show me how you look around a room to find a job that needs doing.

Kids (ages 7–12)

1. What is one thing you did at home without being told, and how did it feel?
2. Think of an excuse you’ve heard or used. How would a Black Belt say it the No Excuses way?
3. Grand Master Smith trained six hours a day. What is one small thing you could do every day without anyone telling you?

Teens and adults

1. What is a promise you made to yourself that you haven’t kept? What small step will you take this week?
2. Which excuse do you reach for most at school or work: time, traffic, other people? What changes if you say “That’s on me” instead?
3. Discipline is choosing what you want most over what you want right now. Where in your life is “right now” winning, and what would flip it?

Listen for:

• Discipline has two ingredients: attention (noticing what needs doing) and respect (doing it whether or not anyone is watching).
• Every excuse hands your power to someone else; owning the problem means owning the fix.
• Small things done without being told are reps that build big discipline.
• Do the hard thing first, and keep promises to yourself, not just to others.

Follow-up questions:

• What would that look like at home tomorrow, before anyone says a word?
• When the game or the phone is calling your name, what will you tell yourself?
• Who will notice when you do it, and how will you know you kept your promise to yourself?

Into the Mat Drill

• Mat drill: Mental Rehearsal: students close their eyes and perform their form in their minds, every move, at full speed and power. Then they open their eyes and perform it for real. Ask: did it feel smoother?
• Leader role: A Black Belt or Leadership Team helper leads the class through the Mental Rehearsal form and quietly notes students who line up or tidy gear without being asked so the instructor can praise them.
• Open next class: Open next class by reading three Self-Discipline Sheets out loud and having the class cheer each one, then ask who has a hard thing they did first.

Black Belt and Beyond: Module 7: Visualization and Goal Posters

Checkpoint: Progress Update: 2 weeks before graduation

• Students create a “My Journey to Black Belt” poster: photo, goal date, quotes and their reasons why (planned on the workbook page).
• Display finished posters in the lobby for the week before graduation.
• Hold 2-week Progress Updates with each family; confirm graduation readiness.

Adult and parent tip: Parents: notice and name it when your child does something without being told, then tell the instructor. Adults: keep your own Self-Discipline Sheet this week and catch your excuses.

Teaching tip: Read three Self-Discipline Sheets out loud at the start of class and have the class cheer for each student. Young kids repeat what gets cheered.

Download the complete books (PDF): The Black Belt Mindset · The Workbook · The Instructor’s Manual

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