Week 9: Know Yourself

Week 9 of 16 · Test Cycle 2. This lesson is part of The Black Belt Mindset, the character curriculum every new Mile High Karate student begins with, by Grand Master Stephen Oliver and Grand Master Jeff Smith. Every week stands alone, so a student can start with any lesson.

“Knowledge in the martial arts ultimately means self-knowledge.”

Bruce Lee

On this page: Read the chapter · Workbook lesson · For instructors: Mat Chat

Read: Know Yourself

In 1975, I opened my own karate school. I was 15 years old.

Read that again. Fifteen. Most kids that age are worried about a driver’s permit. I was worried about rent, students and teaching classes.

I thought I knew a lot. I had been training since 1969. I had been teaching since 1974. I could kick, punch and spar. I was sure I was ready.

Then I found out how much I did not know.

The Day I Learned Where I Stood

In 1976, I traveled to Washington, D.C. That is where Grand Master Jhoon Rhee had his headquarters. Some of the best martial artists in America trained there. I trained alongside Jeff Smith, who was already the PKA World Light Heavyweight Champion. I also trained with Larry Carnahan and John Chung.

These were not ordinary students. They were champions, or about to become champions. They were fast. They were sharp. They had trained hard for years.

At home in Tulsa, I was the teacher. In Washington, I was just another student. And I was not the best one in the room. Not even close.

That could have crushed me. Instead, it taught me something. I finally saw where I really stood. I saw what I did well. I saw what I needed to fix. For the first time, I had a clear picture.

That clear picture is called self-awareness.

And here is what I did with it. I set a goal. I went home knowing exactly what I had to work on. Two years later, in 1978, I came back to Washington and tested for my 1st Degree Black Belt. Knowing where I stood showed me exactly how far I had to go. It did not stop me. It gave me a map.

What Is Self-Awareness?

Self-awareness means knowing yourself. It means knowing:

• What you are good at
• What you need to work on
• How you act when you are happy, tired, mad or scared
• Where you are now, and where you want to go

It does not mean thinking you are the best. It does not mean thinking you are the worst. It means seeing yourself clearly, like looking in a clean mirror.

Here is a kid example. Imagine a student who is great at kicking but always forgets the order of her form. If she thinks, “I’m great at everything,” she will never practice her form. If she thinks, “I’m terrible at karate,” she will want to quit. But if she thinks, “My kicks are strong, and my form needs work,” now she knows exactly what to practice. That is self-awareness.

Here is an adult example. Imagine a woman who gets grumpy every afternoon at work. She snaps at people around 3 o’clock. One day she notices the pattern. She realizes she skips lunch. Now she can fix it. She eats lunch, and the 3 o’clock grumpiness goes away. She did not need a new job. She needed to notice herself.

The Clean Mirror

When you look in a dirty mirror, you cannot see yourself well. Smudges hide things. Some people’s mirrors are smudged by pride. They only see the good stuff. Other people’s mirrors are smudged by fear. They only see the bad stuff.

A Black Belt keeps a clean mirror. A Black Belt can say, “Here is what I do well,” and “Here is what I need to fix,” in the same breath. No bragging. No beating yourself up. Just the truth.

That is why we test at Mile High Karate. A test is not there to make you feel bad. A test is a clean mirror. It shows you where you are right now. Then you and your instructor can make a plan.

Strengths and Weaknesses Are Both Good News

Some students hate hearing about their weaknesses. I get it. Nobody likes to hear, “Your stance is too high.” But think about it this way.

A weakness you know about is a weakness you can fix.

A weakness you don’t know about is the one that hurts you.

When your instructor corrects you, they are wiping your mirror. They are showing you something you could not see yourself. That is a gift. The right answer is, “Yes, sir,” or “Yes, ma’am,” and then fix it.

Your strengths matter too. Knowing your strengths gives you confidence. If you know your side kick is strong, you can use it. If you know you are a good helper, you can help newer students. Strengths are the tools you already have.

Know How You Feel

Self-awareness is not just about skills. It is also about feelings.

Do you know what makes you angry? Do you know what makes you nervous? Do you know what helps you calm down?

A Black Belt notices feelings early. Imagine you feel your face getting hot because your little brother took your stuff. If you notice it early, you can take a deep breath before you yell. If you don’t notice it, the yelling comes out first.

Adults are the same. If you notice that traffic makes you tense, you can leave earlier or play calm music. You can’t change what you don’t notice.

A Clean Mirror for Your Goal

You probably set a Black Belt goal when you started. Maybe you wrote a date on a goal sheet. Maybe your family signed it with you.

Now it is time to hold that goal up to the clean mirror.

Ask yourself three honest questions. Am I coming to class two or three times every week? Am I practicing at home? Am I on track for my next test?

If the answer is yes, great. You might even be able to move your Black Belt date sooner. If the answer is “not yet,” that is good news too. Remember, a weakness you know about is a weakness you can fix.

What you should never do is look away. Students who stop looking at their goal are the ones who drift. Students who check their goal often are the ones who get there.

How a Black Belt Does It

1. Make two lists, tonight. Write down three things you do well and three things you want to get better at. Keep both lists.
2. Welcome corrections. When your instructor fixes something, say “Yes, sir” or “Yes, ma’am,” and practice the fix.
3. Train with people better than you. Watch the higher belts. Ask how they do it.
4. Notice your feelings early. When you start to feel mad, scared or upset, name the feeling before you act.
5. Check yourself every night. Ask, “What went well today? What will I fix tomorrow?” Then fix it.

Remember

• Self-awareness means seeing yourself clearly, like a clean mirror.
• A weakness you know about is a weakness you can fix.
• Corrections are gifts. Say “Yes, sir” or “Yes, ma’am,” and fix it.
• Train with people who are better than you.
• Check your Black Belt goal often. A goal you look at again and again is a plan.

Workbook Lesson: Week 9

Print the full workbook below, or answer these on paper. Young students can have a parent help them read and write.

1. Words to Know

• Self-awareness: knowing yourself clearly: your strengths, weaknesses and feelings
• Strength: something you are good at
• Weakness: something you need to get better at
• Correction: when a teacher shows you how to fix a mistake
• Pattern: something that happens the same way again and again

2. Fill in the Blank

1. A weakness you know about is a weakness you can .
2. A Black Belt keeps a clean and sees themselves clearly.
3. A goal you look at again and again is a .

3. Think About It

1. Why is it a good thing when your instructor corrects you?
2. Look at your Black Belt goal. Are you on track? What is one thing you need to fix to stay on track?
3. Who is someone better than you at something you want to learn? What could you learn from them?
4. Teens & Adults: Describe a pattern in your day (a time you get tired, grumpy or distracted). What is one change that could fix it?

5. Activity: My Clean Mirror

Draw a mirror. On one side of it, write three things you do well. On the other side, write three things you want to get better at, in karate, school, work or at home.

7. My Self-Talk

Write a self-talk sentence about one of your strengths and one thing you are working on. Example: “My kicks are strong, and my form gets better every day.”

8. Live the Creed

Say the Student Creed out loud every day this week. Then write about one time this week you showed Modesty.

For Instructors: Week 9 Mat Chat

A 3–4 minute line-up lesson built on the Hook, Teach, Story, Ask, Commit formula, with a discussion guide for every age on the mat.

Objective: By the end of this Mat Chat, students will be able to name one strength and one thing they are fixing, answer a correction with “Yes, sir” or “Yes, ma’am” and show the fix, and say whether they are on track for their Black Belt date.

Prepare:

• A small hand mirror (or a phone screen wiped clean) to hold up during the Hook; smudge one side with a fingerprint.
• Students’ Black Belt goal sheets or workbooks within reach, so you can point to the goal date.
• Recruit a Black Belt or Leadership Team helper to model the partner share and to demonstrate a correction-and-fix.
• Know two or three specific, positive corrections you plan to give during the drill.

The Mat Chat (3–4 minutes)

Hook (0:00–0:30). [Hold up the hand mirror.] Students, eyes on me! What does a mirror show you? (Me!) Does a mirror ever lie? (No!) If your hair is sticking up after sparring, the mirror tells you. But here’s the problem. Some mirrors get smudged. [Point to the fingerprint.] Smudges hide things. Today we’re talking about the most important mirror in this whole school. It isn’t on the wall. It’s inside you. Our key word this week is MIRROR.

Teach (0:30–1:30). Our Black Belt Success Skill this week is Goal Attainment and Positive Self-Expectancy. Black Belts expect good results, and then they work to make those results happen. But you can’t hit a target you can’t see. So this skill starts with a clean MIRROR. That’s called self-awareness: knowing what you do well and what you need to fix. Some mirrors are smudged by pride. Those people only see the good stuff. Some are smudged by fear. They only see the bad stuff. A Black Belt says both in the same breath: “My kicks are strong, and my form needs work.” No bragging. No beating yourself up. Here’s the secret. A weakness you know about is a weakness you can fix. So when I correct you, I’m cleaning your mirror. And what do you say? (Yes, sir! Yes, ma’am!) Then you fix it.

Story (1:30–2:30). Let me tell you about Grand Master Oliver. In 1975, he opened his own karate school in Tulsa. He was 15 years old! He thought he knew a lot. Then, in 1976, he traveled to Washington, D.C., to train at Grand Master Jhoon Rhee’s headquarters. He trained right next to Jeff Smith, who was already the PKA World Light Heavyweight Champion. At home, he was the teacher. In Washington, he was just another student, and he was not the best one in the room. Not even close. That could have crushed him. Instead, it gave him a clean mirror. He saw what he did well. He saw exactly what he needed to fix. He went home with a goal and a map. Two years later, in 1978, he came back and tested for his 1st Degree Black Belt. Grand Master Smith says it this way: “The better your training partners, the better you do all over the world.”

Ask (2:30–3:15). Let’s check our mirrors. What is self-awareness? (Knowing what I do well and what I need to fix!) When an instructor corrects you, is that bad news or good news? (Good news!) Why? (Because now I can fix it!) Turn to a partner. Tell them one thing you do really well and one thing you’re fixing. Go! [Allow about 20 seconds.] Now, hands up if you know your Black Belt date. Keep your hand up if you’re training two or three times a week and practicing at home. That’s a clean mirror!

Commit (3:15–3:45). Here is your challenge for the next seven days: the Nightly Mirror Check. Every night, write one thing that went well today and one thing you will fix tomorrow. Then do that fix the next day. And hold your Black Belt goal up to the mirror. Keep your date, or move it sooner. Black Belts don’t look away from the mirror. They look closer, all the way to Black Belt and beyond! What kind of mirror does a Black Belt keep? (A clean one!)

Discussion Guide

Aim: Help students see strengths and weaknesses as equally useful information, so corrections feel like help rather than criticism, and get each student to check honestly whether they are on track for their Black Belt date.

Little Dragons (ages 4–6)

1. Show me your strongest kick! Is that one of your strengths?
2. When Sensei fixes your stance, do you say “Yes, sir” or “Yes, ma’am”? Show me how you say it.

Kids (ages 7–12)

1. What is one thing you are really good at in karate, and one thing you are still working on?
2. Why is it a good thing when your instructor corrects you, even if it feels a little embarrassing?
3. Who in this class is better than you at something you want to learn? What could you learn by watching them?

Teens and adults

1. Is your mirror more often smudged by pride or by fear? How does that show up at school or work?
2. Describe a pattern in your day, a time you get tired, grumpy or distracted. What is one change that could fix it?
3. Grand Master Oliver found out he was not the best in the room. When has being around people better than you helped you grow?

Listen for:

• Naming a strength and a weakness together, without bragging or putting themselves down.
• Seeing a correction as a gift that shows something they could not see on their own.
• Knowing a weakness is the first step to fixing it, not a reason to quit.
• Connecting self-awareness to their Black Belt goal: training 2–3 times a week, home practice, being on track to test.

Follow-up questions:

• What is the very first thing you would do tomorrow to fix that?
• How would you know, one week from now, that your fix is working?
• If a friend said, “I’m terrible at karate,” how would you help them clean their mirror?

Into the Mat Drill

• Mat drill: Mirror Partners: partners face each other. Each one says one thing they do well and one thing they are fixing. Then the instructor walks the line, gives each student one correction, and the student answers ‘Yes, sir!’ or ‘Yes, ma’am!’ and shows the fix three times.
• Leader role: The Black Belt or Leadership Team helper models the partner share first, then walks half the line during Mirror Partners giving one positive correction per student and praising each fix out loud.
• Open next class: Open next class by asking, “Hands up if you did your Nightly Mirror Check last night. What was your fix, and did you do it today?” and have two students show their fix.

Black Belt and Beyond: Module A: Goal Setting Process (SMART Goals), revisited

Checkpoint: Progress Update: about 2 months (16 classes) before graduation

• Pull each student’s goal worksheet from cycle 1. Confirm the goal date or move it up.
• Review the action plan line by line: 2 to 3 classes a week, testing every 2 months, 15 to 30 minutes of home practice.
• Have students and parents re-sign the Personal Commitment, and book each family’s 2-month Progress Update.

Adult and parent tip: Parents: review the goal sheet with your child this week and re-sign it together. Use specific praise and specific correction. Adults: ask one trusted person for one strength and one thing to improve, and just say thank you.

Teaching tip: After you correct a student, have them say “Yes, sir” or “Yes, ma’am” and show you the fix right away, then praise the fix in front of the class. Kids learn that corrections lead to wins, not embarrassment.

Download the complete books (PDF): The Black Belt Mindset · The Workbook · The Instructor’s Manual

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